I mean to tell you,Ginger, my wife Janice took to the lesbian business like a duck takesto water."Now, while I can't prove a damn thing, I do believe that these heelsof mine had something to do with my wife's sexual epiphany." And what, pray tell, leads you to draw that conclusion?" a thoroughlyintrigued Ethan proceeded on to inquire."In order to better answer that question of yours, I think it wouldhelp were I to qualify a few things by asking you a couple of questionsfirst." Sure. Go ahead. Be my guest. Ask away." Look, I know this is really getting personal, but what is your presentsexual orientation? I mean, as a guy, are you heterosexual, homosexual,or bisexual?" Well that's an easy one. Make no never mind about it. As a guy, I'dhave to say that I'm about as heterosexual as heterosexual can be." Alright. Well, if that's the case, would it be safe for me to assumethat whenever you opt into girlhood, you would consider yourself to bea lesbian? Or, would it be more correct to say. A dark-haired head appeared through the hole where the panel had been and the intruder examined the rebar, trying to identify the problem. He twisted the padlock and banged the rebar back and forth, making quite a lot of noise. From the bedroom, I could hear Trish on the phone with the cops. Was this guy deaf or crazy or what? He turned his head in my direction, but was so intent on the rebar that he didn’t notice me standing right there.Off in the distance, I heard a siren. This guy might be a total loon, but was he really going to hang around with a code-three cop on the way?I swung around facing the door, grabbed the intruder’s right wrist and shoved my gun into his belly. I explained to him in very colorful terms that, if he did anything that I didn’t specifically tell him to do, I was going to spread his insides all over the back yard. I’m pretty sure he didn’t speak English, but he understood me well enough.Now, you should understand that, through all this, I was wearing my .45.
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